The ‘Porn Talk’, Fathers, and Sons

Image from Father's Day film

In time for Father’s Day (June 16), Culture Reframed is releasing its new short (1:55) film, “Parent Up! Talk To Your Son About Porn,” created by DreamWorks-trained mediamakers, in cooperation with Culture Reframed. The image above is a still from the film.

Boys with smart phones are just a swipe away from free, hardcore porn. Boys first view porn at an average age of 11-14. And most dads* have never had ‘the porn talk’ with their sons – leaving the porn industry as kids’ major form of sex education.

View the film here.

“Parent Up! Talk To Your Son About Porn” was produced in cooperation with the Hidden Tears Project, which partners with nonprofits around the country to raise consciousness through media on gender inequality, sexual abuse, and human trafficking. Culture Reframed raises awareness and provides education and resources to build resilience and resistance to hypersexualized media and porn culture.

*Of course, it’s not just up to dads to have the “porn talk”. All parent figures can help to ensure that boys aren’t left to learn about relationships and sex from the porn industry.

 

 

A child with his hands on a smartphone

Smartphones give kids a portal to a world they are not prepared for — unless you start the conversation. Learn how! Register for the Culture Reframed free Program for Parents of Tweens.


#StartTheConversation
#ParentUp!

Join the discussion 2 Comments

  • Amy Luna Manderino says:

    I appreciate your work so much, but I didn’t like this video from start to finish. Here are the specific reasons why:

    1) “I am my father’s son.”

    Why the need to assign a sex to the parental role and the child’s role? We don’t say “I am my white’s white,” do we? The world will really start changing when we are not OBSESSED with SEXING everyone and every role. This “father/son” language just perpetuates a toxic gender binary that we need to be transcending, not celebrating. And why are we just talking about one parent of the male sex? A female parent can talk to a child of any sex about porn, too.

    Better language:

    “I am my parents’ child.”

    2) “He taught me to walk, run and fly.” Again, what does that have to do with the sex of the parent or child? Parents of any sex teach children of any sex to “run, walk and fly.” It’s not a “father/son” thing. But it used to be, because females were not supposed to run/walk/fly. We were supposed to sit like “ladies” in dresses with our legs crossed. So, please don’t add a sex to the ideas of walking, running or flying. It wasn’t too long ago (1967) Kathrine Switzer had to literally fight her way into the Boston Marathon. Moms and daughters run, too.

    Better language:

    “My parents taught me all the things kids learn…how to walk, run and fly.”

    3) “But there’s one thing he didn’t teach me about—sex, girls.” Ok, how did you not catch that this is horribly heteronormative? What about gay sons? You just pathologized all the young males for whom “sex” and “girls” are not “one thing.” And why are you using the word “girls?” Are we still using that word to describe females who are old enough to have sex and get pregnant themselves? Because I’m pretty sure that’s a “woman.” Or at least a “young woman.”

    Better language:

    “But there’s one thing they didn’t tell me about. Sex. So I learned sex from porn. And porn taught me to disrespect women.”

    4) “Women are our mothers, sisters, friends.”

    Women are people. Period. A woman does not deserve respect because of her relationship to a male. What if I’m childfree by choice? For example, 23 million American women do not give birth.

    Better language:

    “Everyone deserves respect. Women, men, girls and boys. You don’t treat anyone with less respect because they are female. Ever.”

    I’m a little surprised that the language in this is so regressive. I was excited when I saw that you had made a video and really disappointed after watching it.

  • Lindsay says:

    I would like to see MOMS involved in the conversation here. Let’s face it, half our kids have dads that are not present, or unwilling to discuss this because of their own issues with porn and objectification. As a single mom, having left my kids’ abusive father, I wish there were more resources that gave as much guidance to moms as they do to dads. So many moms are the ones doing the heavy lifting in the family. Acknowledge that, include us!

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